Writing & rewriting

I have written it out
In so many ways now
& still I don’t know
If I’ve gotten to
The essence of it

Or if that’s even possible
In this universe

So I keep writing about it
Keep re-writing about it

As things come to me
I realize that
We were we
& that while
There are so many
Tears to cry
About us
I wouldn’t be who
I am in this moment
Had it not been for
What we had

The devalued engage value
In creative ways

& I certainly believe
I have dealt with
Things in amazing ways

I have had to accept
That my love for people
Doesn’t just go away

When it probably should

I know you’ll find this pertinent
That for all the talk of loving
As an act of transformation
That I know we don’t believe
This should be mandatory
I have more love in me
Than I ever knew
After all anyway

I try & put it to best use
I feel like I think
It would be good if you knew

& if after not caring about my brokenness
You could find a moment
Now in the bygoneness
Knowing what came of us
To think of me fondly

Ultimately I learned from us
The depth & breadth of my
Capacity to love
More & again
Part of me hopes
Somewhere out there
You’ll appreciate this

Loving my beloveds
Forever & forward
That’s what I’m left with
& I’m okay with it

I hope you too
Have found
What you need

P.S.
I write
& rewrite it
Because it’s
A way to maybe achieve
All of the love we missed

© Niliema Karkhanis


Authour’s note: poem 28/30 for a month of poetry 2021


Featured image by Sixteen Miles Out from Unsplash


1 thought on “Writing & rewriting

  1. Pingback: Writing & rewriting | songs for now

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