How could anyone already in pain be expected
To continue on in such a devastating liminal state
To be simultaneously abandoned
& expected perfection of

A perfectionist needs
Careful love
To quell anxiety’s
Too tight glove

Hand in glove
An unlikely
Still I suppose
We tried
Or I know
I did

Yet it was the
Kind of thing
Where no matter
How hard I tried
It was a set up
& nothing
I could do
Would ever be
Good enough

My love
Please think
How heavy
That is
You wouldn’t
Have accepted
The treatment
You gave
From anyone
& certainly
Not from me

It made me feel small
& my spirit is not small

& you knew it

That’s what
Will always
Hurt the most
I’m certain you
Understand this

Still what we had
Was priceless
An inimitable
& sublime realm
Of multiverses

We wrote our
Way into existence
In a way I had never
Experienced before

My love
I’m so glad
We had our
Art to
Ground us
To guide us

I still wish
You could
Have seen

I just hope
You do now

With love
From me
To you

© Niliema Karkhanis

Authour’s note: poem 27/30 for a month of poetry 2021

Featured image by  Billy Huynh from Unsplash

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